My Saturday meal: Malaysian Assam Pedas Lobster Dish

Recipe:
I carrot (diced)
A bunch of spring onions (chopped)
Egg noodles (boiled separately and seasoned with salt)
Chopped Lobster balls (available at any Chinese/Malaysian store)
A dollop of Assam Pedas Paste (For fish recipes)

Mix the above ingredients in a Wok with pre-heated oil. Allow to cook for 15 minutes and Voila! Ready to be served.

THE DUNG BEETLE

When I'm mad at someone I usually just count to ten and get it over with, but it's proving impossible to do, when the loser shares a class with me. I can sense his desperation and loneliness a mile away, when his loser video-gaming buddies come over. It's like as though he's never had friends his entire life and feels compelled to shove that fact down the throats of his insignificant apartment-mates. The way he laps up all the attention and disgusting pet-name calling is so repulsive; it makes me feel like throwing up over and over again, straight into his sickeningly dull face. His protruding bulgy eyes, annoyingly hoarse voice, sparse crown of hair, shapeless face, and creepy/stalkerish aura drive me up the wall with the force of my gag reflex that acts up whenever he gets too close. He talks over the phone during day, trying to make himself seem more in-demand than he really is and spends the night serenading and making pathetic love to his laptop, since obviously no girl on this entire planet, would tolerate physical contact with him without wanting to puke out her dinner. His taste in clothes is shameful , making him look much like an overgrown 9-year old with a reversed aging disorder. He indulges in pretty much every self-destructive habit ever known to exist; dope, booze, chain-smoking, you name it.

I need to forget about him and erase all memories I've ever had with the douchebag, since nothing good can possible come out of knowing him. Furthermore, it kills me to know I made an effort to befriend him and be nice to him, despite all the cutting remarks and periods of silent punishment I had to suffer. I refuse to take any more crap from this latest crap-wallowing bug; and hopefully, if I succeed in ignoring the nasty creature it'll probably wallow in it's own poop elsewhere.

Change is in the air

I'm still putting up with the bitchy Bombaiite, the whistling Bill Gates wannabe, a moody Mexican and the freaked out Melbourne weather. It's only a matter of time before I lose my cool and blow up in the bitch's face, play a dangerous prank on the whistler and ask the latino out on a date. As for the weather, there's nothing much I can do except snuggle in blankets. According to numerology, 2014 is my number 9 year and the last year of a ten-year cycle which basically means this is the year to get rid of all that's dragging me down into the stagnant pool of the past. This would explain why I've been unable to tolerate most people and the bullshit they have to offer, lately. The whistling buffoon still hasn't come to terms with being in a beautiful country and just keeps shagging his Mac instead of leaving his geeky dungeon. The Bombay bitch thinks she's on top of the world and proceeds to dominate every situation she finds herself in. The cute Mexican is manipulative and unfocused, swinging from one extreme to another, while the rest of us struggle to maintain a balance between assignments and sleep. Strange to say, I've begun feeling strongly for him and this deep spiritual but platonic connection we share just pulls us closer to one another. I didn't want to think about it all this time fearing disappointment, but I can't keep my feelings for him at bay any longer. Waiting eagerly for next week when I purposely forget to wish birthday boy and have no classes to attend. Yippee. Did I mention my latest lesbian crush on Tina Arena?

On An Intense Winter Night

So, I'm bored and slightly angsty watching Vampire Diaries in my room and decide to stir things up a bit. I climb three flights of stairs till I reach the terrace and the beauty of the night just overwhelms me. And I realize what I'd been missing. I was hiding all along, from a part of myself that embraces the empty darkness, the chill and the danger of unfamiliarity. Playing 'Take my Breath Away' and 'I don't love you' on full volume on my iPOD, I begin snapping away with my cell cam. Here's what I captured in four shots. There's no way I'm putting them on Facebook; dumbasses there won't understand or even try to comprehend what I felt for those amazing ten minutes on the terrace, just me and the starlit heavens above.

Tragic Endings for Assholes

Cycledude:
Why?
Because all the emotional drama in my life began with him. Before him there was peace all round.

How does it have to end?
He goes cycling late at night, encounters the creepy smiling man on the way (See here) and gets chased right into a deep pit full of piranhas.

Preacherdude:
Why?
Suffered years of heartache thanks to him. Hate him.

How does it have to end?
He gets tricked into thinking he's on a pilgrimage, but accidentally stumbles upon a top-secret meeting of Yakuzas. His little finger is instantly chopped off as per Yakuza tradition, and slashety slash....that's the end of the rest of him.

Preacher dude's brother:
Why?
Because he's a little pansy who whines and thinks he's royalty from the medieval ages or Marie Antoinette or something.

How does it have to end?
He's deceived into thinking he owns a kingdom. While he carries on with his debauched ways, sleeping around with several maidens and a courtesan, one of them sets an asp free into his pants. He faints in a girly fashion and then passes away from the bites.

Knight of Wands
Why?
For making me wait 3 years and doing nothing at the end of it.

How does it have to end?
He's listening to his headphones as usual, when he suddenly gets a high voltage shock due to static electricity buildup and malfunctioning of his iPOD. He goes deaf and dies at the same time.

Gorilla-Pervert
Why?
For initially flirting with me, forcing me to tolerate his stench and later bitching about me while making life hell for my project group in third year.

How does it have to end?
A couple of gorillas seduce him into their cages and ass-rape him to death for the entire zoo to see.

DistilleryDude
Why?
For making my first kiss the worst and least memorable as well as for drilling the significance of his caste, religion and job into my brain repeatedly.

How does it have to end?
With a passionate kiss from a Sumo wrestler, a long steamy shower and intimacy soon after. You can imagine how that would end.

Lying Dickhead
Why?
For lying to me about him still seeing his ex and expecting me to anticipate dates for which he'd never turn up.

How does it have to end?
He takes his cheap girlfriend to a seedy bar cum restaurant, where he orders for a plate of burgers. The catch? The burgers are filled with ground-up glass resulting in a slow and painful death for the two of them.

Whistler
Why?
For acting like a psychotic prick; talking to me one minute and ignoring me the next. And also for whistling, slamming doors, jumping on his bed and making beeping sounds when I'm exhausted and eager for some shut-eye.

How does it have to end?
He plays video games on his laptop, when his operating system is all of a sudden infected with a deadly virus. His laptop shuts down, triggering an emotional tantrum from its owner who is sucked up by the frustrated virus and pixelated to fit into the system. He is stuck there for an eternity, with no way out and as good as dead.

Caught in The Web of Destiny

Before things get too hectic with assignments and presentations, I thought I'd mention life at the amazing university I'm currently studying at as well as it's lovely campus.Walking back after lectures, I pass the Ian Potter Museum of Art and plan strategically how the rest of my day should go. The icy cold wind hits me and I pull my jacket around me tighter, wondering if it would still be dreadfully cold the next day. And if so, then how I'd wake myself up the next morning from the heavy slumber winter tends to trap us in. I plan my day's shopping at Aldis and Queen Vic market, hoping the whistling geek next door would have the foresight and caring, to pop up magically out of nowhere and help me with the bags. Better still, I wish we could both go shopping together. Him, with his usual skepticism and I, stuck in my daydreams. After we arrive back home, I'd prepare a meal for the two of us followed by a trip to the park nearby and gaze silently into the rippling water of the fountains. Oh, how I despise building castles in the air, only to have them completely demolished by time and our respective careers. Something tells me that I'll never meet so kindred a spirit as you, ever again and to grab hold of these precious moments and fantasies while they last. I  hope that day at the wishing well beside the Cathedral did the trick. Dearly hope it did.

Some Kind of Wonderful (1987) - Best Kiss Scene Ever!

In a gender-reversed version of his previous hit Pretty in Pink, John Hughes retreads all-too- familiar ground in Some Kind of Wonderful, the story of a sensitive, young would-be artist, Keith , who vies for the affection of his high school's popularity queen, Amanda (Lea Thompson), seemingly out of some deep-rooted insecurity regarding his social ineptitude. He enlists the help of his butch best friend and fellow misfit, Watts, unaware that she secretly pines for him. While she goads him to give up his pointless pursuit of Amanda, he encounters one other small obstacle -- Amanda's rich bully of a boyfriend, Hardy who threatens Keith with a face rearrangement. Undeterred, Keith decides he will, by any means necessary, escort his dream girl to the prom -- but not before he buys her expensive jewelry with the money from his college fund in order to impress her.  -Rottentomatoes

Why I'm Going to Miss True Blood Forever

• Things are way more messed up in Bontemps as they are in the world we experience. Imagine a vampire's face appearing at the window in the dark when you're about to get into bed. Or being confronted with a werewolf when you're going for a pee in the bushes during a nightly stroll. It makes us realize how safe we truly are, away from supernatural elements...with no one to fear but ourselves, other human beings and the rest of the animal kingdom.

• It's comforting in a twisted way to know that the characters of the television series suffer way more than we do, until their imminent deaths. It makes suffering and misery seem really cool. It's as though the more problematic your life is, the more you can relate to the lives of the main characters.

• It glamorizes Death. Some of people's worst fears are always connected with Death such as the fear of heights, dolls or clowns. Heights aren't what really scare us; it's the fact that jumping all that distance may be leading us to the ultimate end. People may not think about their lives eventually coming to an end, but its the most deep seated fear in all of us. No matter how tired and bored of living we may seem, we do value our lives highly.

• The vampires just don't give a damn about anything. Speak their minds without thinking twice, go about murdering people like roaches, shag anything that moves and hurl about torrents of verbal abuse, despite the fact that they aren't really immortal and can cease to exist with a wooden stake through their hearts. That seems to really highlight the aphorism 'Carpe diem' and kick us out of the rut we've stuck ourselves in by being too cautious. You're just going to die in the end anyway. No one wins, no one loses. Not even an amoeba.

• Alcide, Jason, Eric and Sam happen to be my most interesting fictional crushes ever. So much alpha masculine power packed into one TV show. Sigh.

• You're either bad or good. No sugar icing bullshit. It's one of the two extremes. There are hardly any characters who merge in with the background and remain neutral or undivided between the two extremes. Every character seems to have a dark side to them that is exposed eventually. You tend to admire them for who they are, no matter how diabolically calculating they may seem. Not even gentlemanly Bill can seem angelic for very long.

• And last of all, there won't be anything worthwhile to look forward to on TV on a Sunday. No more squishy vampire guts, needless violence, graphic adult scenes or emotional drama to stir you out of your lazy weekend slumber.

The Beauty of Venus in Scorpio

Venus in Scorpio females tend to have that mysterious allure that draws people towards or away from them. They look exceptional in clothing that is black or white which are colors symbolizing  purity and regeneration, words often associated with the sign of Scorpio. Women with this placement in their natal charts, have suffered more than their share of love woes. They get naturally paranoid, suspicious and possessive about the people they deeply care for. They tend to have an understated elegance about them, rarely revealing much of  skin, but seducing all the same. They don't take love affairs lightly and may fluctuate between the two extremes of complete loyalty in marriage or absolute abstinence, usually ending up as women of the cloth. Below is a visual guide to take you through the rich depth and dark beauty of women born under a Scorpio venus.

Carly Rae Jepsen
 

Jennifer Connelly

Chiaki Kuriyama

Beatrice Dalle

Vinona Ryder

Smita Patil

Lena Katina

Mariana Klaveno

Carrie Otis

Sophie Marceau

Jennifer Ulrich

Zoey Deutch

INDIANS: The Bills, Elle Drivers, O-Ren Ishiis, Budds and Vernitas of my life

Most of my early torturers were Indians; they bullied me mercilessly for just looking cute as a kid while they'd strut about with the stench of coconut oil and pickles on them. They would pinch my cheeks with their filthy nails, punch me across the floor just because I looked at them and even slap me for turning up in the wrong class.
Those days aren't behind me however, since I've had the misfortune of meeting an aunty from Mumbai and like most bombayites, throws attitude around like she's sprinkling holy water and lets her tongue run faster than her legs can. She uses me the first couple of days to take snaps of her so as to glorify her grotesque features and then ditches me for a more 'sophisticated' tribe of hindi-speaking holy water-sprinklers. She hardly ever talks to me anymore but puts me down, forgetting how pathetically she'd beg for information about the simplest things when she'd just arrived at the new place. The next case study is the guy who lives right next door to me. The funk knows I can't stand his whistling at 2am in the morning, but continues doing so. He sticks his head out into the freezing cold knowing full well that it'll cause him a fit of cough later, but it doesn't bother him either. He stares at me intensely nowadays having lost his tongue (perhaps having mistaken it for bacon) and looks at me like a complete stranger. He prefers typing commands into his precious laptop to going sightseeing in a country as uniquely beautiful as Australia. Another example is that of the creepy 30-something hag who looks at my clothes and accessories way more than she does my face and asks me to repeat whatever I say, instead of plucking the gunk out of her ears which would improve her hearing.
Relatives on facebook have begun worrying themselves sick over my health after having ignored my existence for three years. They think it's their version of the Inquisition and are hell-bent on destroying my peace of mind with a flurry of questions regarding business which is none of their concern whatsoever. It wasn't any different in college. Kids would calculate the worth of my clothes and shoes faster than they'd analyze a sample of DNA, and then judge me accordingly. Never had I felt more repulsed by an entire group of people in my life, than I did at that moment. I've totally given up talking about them and it's as though they never existed and were just part of a horrendous nightmare that lasted for three years. The guy I went out for a short while, could barely digest the news that I'd got an offer at a university abroad, assuming me to be the worthless dickhead with a sinus problem that he was. He never could say anything pleasant from then on, always letting a couple of put-downs slip out of his rotten phlegm-filled mouth. I'm just glad that whole episode ended with one horrid date. Dear Almighty, save me from the Indians who threaten to engulf me in their hurricane of pessimism, narrow-mindedness, pickles and stinky oils.

Henri 2, Paw de Deux

Top 5 Hottest Men of True Blood

Eric Northman

'Humans... honestly, Bill. I don't know what you see in them.'

This arrogant, tall and blond vampire viking sure knows how to stand his ground in a supe-dominated world. Death means nothing to him and he can be very menacing when threatened. His innocent small-boy look adds to his charm and makes him irresistible to women, despite a shadow of danger lurking within his gaze. It doesn't matter how many human spines he tears out or how many people he savagely massacres; his innocence, strong sense of loyalty and a cool detached air make it easy for him to lure victims into his blood traps.

Bill Compton

'Sookie, you cannot be frightened of everythin' you don't know in this world.'

Bill seems to be one of the few vampires in the series with a lukewark temperament. He is also one the few who has managed to retain his human compassion, displayed mainly by his over-protectiveness of Sookie Stackhouse. Although he claims to be deeply in love with her, he seems oddly confused with his feelings at times and tends to withdraw himself emotionally in certain situations, ending up feeling guilty for letting her down. This fanger's charm lies in his immense intellectuality and silent brooding....not to forget, his sexy bangs in the first season.

Jason Stackhouse

'Sarah Newlin: You're worse than Judas!
Jason Stackhouse: Why? What'd he do to you?'

Jason's athletic form and innate goodness make up for the fact that his is a total dimwit with zero morals. He's the perfect example of someone who's ruled by an organ besides his brain and the pal lying in his pants seems to be a natural compass that navigates him through most difficulties in  his life and lands him in quite a few as well. Despite this, women take to him thanks to his lost puppy look, spontaneity and masculine bravado.

Sam Merlotte

'It took me this long to realize you suffer a lot longer hidin' something than if you face up to it.'

This dependable bar owner has qualities that most inhabitants of Bon temps lack, such as kindness, tolerance, and unswerving devotion to all his near and dear. He takes matters into his own hands, sacrificing a whole lot for the wellbeing of his friends and often ends up with nothing in the bargain. His numerous heroic feats have garnered love and affection from gorgeous women like Luna Garza and Nicole Wright.


Alcide Herveaux

Sookie Stackhouse: I can't change who I love. Lord knows I've tried.
Alcide Herveaux: Try harder.

Alcide, the hunky  werewolf may seem at first glance, a bad boy who needs to be tamed. But beneath that hairy and short-tempered exterior, hides a big golden heart that can never be unfair and ruthless in any of his dealings. Not only has he helped the ones he loves, but he's also assisted vampires and shapeshifters which is a pretty humbling deal for a proud werewolf who once led a pack of wolves.

Across Enemy Lines

You remind me of regal figures which exude raw power and endless confidence. You are much like a lion, proudly parading the territory it has claimed. You could come off for a french aristocrat with your tender features, cutting remarks and dangerous arrogance. You could be the actor who stars in a life-long series of successes at the box-office and ultimately ends up winning the Liftetime Achievement Award. You are quite like the CEO cum billionaire of a company with an endless number of loyal admirers, wanton lovers and envious rivals. But most importantly, you could be that missing piece of my heart that I seem to have lost but can't recollect when. We simple cannot unite; for fear of hatred and abandon  from our respective families. Families which are as good as non-existent; the kind which wake up only when threats to their pride and security become more profound. Families which make me sick with their needless violence, interference and psychological manipulation. How I wish i could run far away with you to the wilderness and escape this tedious circus of a  life where we are humiliated, abused and laughed down at. We could then live out a fairytale romance worthy of being published as a novel, where you could rightfully claim your title as King of the Jungle and I, as your faithful queen.