Hell's Oven: Quarter of A Passage

It's been a depressing walk through the thick and deadly fog. But I'm finally able to spy the beam of light at the end of my passage through the graveyard. I've battled the withered; but far from weak grasp of the zombies rising out of their graves, the occasional rock and overhanging bats who create chaos the moment they get a sniff of a perspiring or bleeding body. The disgusting half-rotting zombies with degenerating brain cells, mostly being relatives, 'friends', professors, classmates and complete strangers. The rock stands for challenges that life has thrown across my path; making me trip and lose my balance, disoriented but stronger than ever. The troublesome bats represent Love that has come to me in the form of pets, boys and men; who are present long enough to cause an uproar and disappear the instant they find someone better than me. Despite all these challenges, I've held onto all that which is precious to me and been able to preserve my integrity and pride. I have only six more months to wait out, before I can experience and feel the entire glow of the Guiding Star on my skin. Six months more to come back to what I once was, holding in my hand, the proof needed to prove I'm not much of an idiot after all. Proof that I'm still alive after battling with supernatural forces, hunger as well as wicked mortals. Stephen King could base an entire horror trilogy on these three years of mine; but I'd much rather forget I even lived through them.

Gravity (2013)

I'd gone yesterday on an outing with a friend of mine for lunch as Texas Bar & Restaurant followed by a trip to Inox. Guess which movie we went for? The science fiction thriller with a bit of spirituality injected into it- Gravity. The movie was amazing in 3D and Sandra Bullock had an almost similar role to enact, as in the movie 'Speed' where she co-starred with Keanu Reeves. Gravity was a wee bit depressing though especially when we come to the realization that the handsome and charming Mark Kowalsky (George Clooney) has tragically died in space, thereby, putting an end to his amusing story-telling. Here's the Plot summary,

 Dr. Ryan Stone is a brilliant medical engineer on her first shuttle mission, with veteran astronaut Matt Kowalsky  in command of his last flight before retiring. But on a seemingly routine spacewalk, disaster strikes. The shuttle is destroyed, leaving Stone and Kowalsky completely alone - tethered to nothing but each other and spiraling out into the blackness.

My Poison-Love

There's no hope left for me, especially not where love is concerned. Why can't a single relationship last? If not forever, then why not just for a few months? Are members of the opposite sex so repulsed by commitment, that they are willing to cherish their bachelorhood and freedom at the risk of being lonely, bitter and miserable old men someday? Is this what love has been reduced to? Mere intimacy and goodbyes soon after? Maybe it's just not my time right now, but Time sure isn't waiting for me and may even come to an unexpected end, sometime in the future. I'm beginning to believe that It (Love) doesn't even exist. That it just came about as a concept from literature, theatre and the arts, created by romantic fools such as I, who've stuck their heads permanently into the clouds and never seem to come down to their senses. Fools who refuse to see what's right infront of them and instead take off onto an unfamiliar path which ultimately proves dangerous to them.Well, I resign myself to fate and whatever it has in store for me, even if it means killing myself slowly with the poison that threatened to take my life 7 years ago. Time to continue drudging through this never-ending road of nothingness called 'Life' and prove myself as a source of amusement for the mighty and twisted Creator (whom I'm not even sure,exists).

Prince of The Ball

His pampered-brat facade, which I was unfortunately exposed to, conceals a charming and pleasant side of him which would want to make any girl dance with him and forget the world around her. His calming voice, light laugh and twinkling eyes only serve to highlight a beauty that is unique to him and him alone. He moves on his feet with the grace and agility of a panther and sleeps like one as well; with an eye always alert and on the lookout for any sign of his prey. His touch feels like newly spun silk and he cleverly disguises his possessiveness with a charm which would lead no woman to stray. He commands attention, affection and loyalty; all of which he gives in abundance to those he truly cares about. He has a temper which stays for only a split second before it gives rise to the most radiant smile seen on the face of the planet. He promises neither commitment nor fairytale ending; but every fiber of his body and soul cry out for just that. It is a pity that his beautiful soul yearns to cut short a life of love and merriment by abusing the body it has been gifted, through smoke and poison. But it is only a matter of time before he realizes that he deserves all the love in the world and much more than that.

The Four Years

So I'm going about my everyday routine of visiting the college library when all of a sudden, I spot a most unexpected soul. He glides down the stairs in his priestly attire without a single impulsive motion, which used to be one of his distinguishing characteristics once upon a time. He isn't a stranger to me; yet he sure comes across as one. He patiently waits for the crowds of people to pass him by on their way up. The real him would have just rudely barged into them without pausing for a second to reconsider his actions. Who knows where it's all gone? His spontaneity, the hot-headedness and the aggression? They all seem to have disappeared within a span of four years, with the appearance of his dull robe and a meek new demeanor. He catches a glimpse of me as I wave my unopened umbrella at a friend by way of greeting.  I can hardly contain my excitement and nearly trip over in shock. But the memories of pain and heartbreak soon come back to me; if only for a second. I soon recover and conceal my emotions cleverly, with a practice that's four years old. Unable to think objectively, I speed up my pace and run over to my refuge. He soon catches up but says and does nothing. He walks past with an air of dettachment, which surprisingly doesn't hurt anymore. I feel numb and scan my eyes blankly over a newspaper without really reading the printed words. It's been a long, empty and dreadful four years since I set eyes on the man I could have once cut my heart out for; but love no longer.

Five Silly Puppets

There's a little puppet I know;
whose skin is as black as coal.
Try lavishing him with affection,
he reluctantly turns the other way.
Run away from him;
he follows you all the way home.

The second puppet;
she isn't any better.
She stomps around and pouts all day;
knowing when she won't get her way.
Twenty one she turns, the year after;
Hasn't grown any wiser.

Puppet Number Three has one foul mouth;
and a dirty mind to match.
What he whispers can be heard a mile away;
nothing pleasant can he say.
Slapping female behinds, is a favourite pass-time of his;
The thrill he gets from it, is one I will never understand.

Puppet Four seems like an angel;
generous and giving of all her resources.
Alas! There is one thing she hides;
that's her enormous pride.
She secretly thinks she was made to reach the stars;
She has far to go, incredibly far.

Puppet Five has his nose forever stuck up in the air;
And never does he play fair.
Keep going on the way you do, Mister;
your nose could grow as long as Pinocchios
inevitably reaching the Ozone;
and create a hole as problematic as the already existing one.

I could go on and on;
about flaws, remedial measures and righteous ways.
But who I am to say?
With dice, teacups and cards, I play my life away.
I could be just another one of them;
A puppet who has gone astray.

Wide Sargasso Sea (2006)

Antoinette Cosway, a young female landowner in 1840s Jamaica, marries Edward Rochester, despite receiving several warnings against doing so. As they become intimate and begin falling in love, their marriage seems headed off to a good start. It is only when Antoinette's old jamaican nurse, Christophine, grows more suspicious of Edward and Edward is influenced by Antoinette's cousin, Daniel; that the troubles begin. Daniel poisons Edward's mind about Antoinette, implying that she has already had a lover and is destined to become mentally retarded like her mother. He also mentions that she performs black magic with Christophine's help. Edward who was once strongly attached to his wife, starts to withdraw into his shell, leaving Antoinette devastated and unable to salvage her failing marriage. Antoinette decides to tell Edward the truth about her mother as well as her brother, confirming that madness does run in her family; this ,however, fails to bring them any closer. She then poisons his drink, all of a sudden blinding him with strong lust for her. His suspicions are confirmed the next morning, when he learns of what happened; this news, filling him with fury and disgust. He commits adultery with a servant soon after, and tells his wife that he does not love her. On discovering this, Antoinette withdraws emotionally as well. She is later taken to Rochester Mansion in England and kept guard on by a servant, due to her unstable mind. She is now called 'Bertha' and refuses to believe that she has been brought to England. The film ends with her setting fire to the mansion with her sleeping husband and maid still in it and ends up committing suicide by jumping off the roof.

Top 5 Venus in Scorpio Songs

1. Jenny Was A Friend Of Mine
    by The Killers

'She said she loved me, but she had somewhere to go
She couldn't scream while I held I close
I swore I'd never let her go'

2.Rio
   by Duran Duran

'Moving on the floor now babe you're a bird of paradise
Cherry ice cream smile I suppose it's very nice
With a step to your left and a flick to the right you catch that mirror way out west
You know you're something special and you look like you're the best.'

3.A Girl Like You
   by Edwyn Collins

'You give me just a taste so I want more and more
Now my hands are bleeding and my knees are raw
 Now you've got me crawlin', crawlin' on the floor
 And I've never met a girl like you before'

4. I Don't Love You
   by My Chemical Romance

'Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading
 So sick and tired of all the needless beating
 But baby when they knock you down and out
It's where you oughta stay.'

5. Roxanne
   by The Police

'I loved you since I knew you
I wouldn't talk down to you
I have you to tell just how I feel
I won't share you with another boy.'

Hell's Oven: The Latest Developments

Two years down, one more to go and then... Freedom. Uhuh. Not so soon. Maybe not from the responsibilities of an adult life but surely from rotting carcasses of rats on the roads and adulterated food. It's going to be another tough year of decision making and trying my best not to starve myself to the bone. Will I ever find out what my obscure goal is, in this lifetime or will I just keep dragging myself from one day to the next without feeling a thing for my surroundings or empathizing with my fellow companions? 

I haven't found romantic love, that's for sure. The only progress I've made so far, is on obtaining a degree in a subject which teaches me how to manipulate living beings within restrictions and make further advancements in the field of Science. My passion for this twisted line of work is the only factor keeping me from falling headfirst into a pool of depression and who knows what other kind of diabolical stuff waiting for me just round the corner. The past two years have transformed me into an adult who is unable to react appropriately in social situations or even display genuine emotion for that matter. I've become a psychopathic freak and I can't help but feel proud of this recent development. I feel just like a rebellious lab rat that is expected to behave in a certain manner in simulated environment, but chooses not to. I'd better learn to live by acceptable social norms or shall risk getting poisoned by the scientist who's tolerated my antics long enough.

Les Revenants (2012-)

Starring: Frédéric Pierrot, Samir Guesmi, Guillaume Gouix, Anne Consigny, Clotilde Hesme, Ana Girardot.

Set in a mountain town, the first season of this french TV serial consists of eight episodes with a haunting soundtrack provided by the Scottish band, Mogwai.

A young girl who had died in a bus accident four years earlier, returns to her family due to unresolved issues between her and her sister. Meanwhile, several others presumed to be dead, return to their loved ones. For instance, a young man in his teens reconciles with the woman whom he was to marry, a cannibalistic serial killer goes back to his brother and a mysterious boy visits a childless woman who had once been the victim of the serial killer. Although the reappearance of the dead does not cause much chaos initially, the townspeople begin to panic when confronted with hordes of them one night. The living and dead begin to develop strange scars on their bodies, the water level of the dam lowers, carcasses of wild animals are found in the sea, power failures occur more frequently as compared to before and people who try to leave town are unable to do so.

Check it out here: lesrevenants.canalplus.fr

The Secretary (2002)

Lee Holloway is a smart, quirky but self destructive woman in her twenties who returns to her hometown in Florida after a brief stay in a mental hospital. In search of relief from herself and her oppressive childhood environment, she starts to date a nerdy friend from high school and takes a job as a secretary in a local law firm, soon developing an obsessive crush on her older boss, Mr. Edward Grey. Slowly Lee and Mr.Grey embark on a more personal relationship behind closed doors, crossing lines of conduct into a deep realm of human sexuality, a unique love affair, in which the roles of dominance and submission suit both of them perfectly.

Secretary is a powerful and very unique love story, its bold, unflinching humour and strange yet seductive eroticism help explore the notion that love doesn't always occur the way we might expect.

The Road To Nowhere

'How about an open relationship?' He asks.
'Sure', I reply.

Now what sort of moron would be prepared to have feelings for someone who may not be a player but sure has the potential to develop into one later in his life? Exactly, Me. Only I could kid myself by saying I need the experience for a proper partnership that could come about in the future when I'm actually hurting deeply, at a soul level. I know for a fact that this new object of my affection intends to take me nowhere near rainbows and fluorescent butterflies but dump me in the familiar endless wasteland of unhealthy obsession and depression. I am expected to let out of my window every night, imaginary doves with love letters attached to their talons and wait it out for months and maybe years altogether for subliminal messages of some sort. He promises to let go when he no longer needs me, regardless of my need for his precious company. He makes me swear that I won't feel deeply for him or hold him back from a lifetime of fun despite knowing me to be an extreme romantic at heart. Why make so grand an entrance into my life when all I'm rewarded with are soured expectations and a future of instability with him? When all I can treasure is the slowly fading memory of his melodiously soothing voice, witty remarks and that slight squint he has when deep in thought? Why do this to someone who could sacrifice herself for you and love you eternally without passing judgement based on your appearance and status in society? Unfortunately for you, every road has a dead end and 'Nowhere' is the kind of word I only like to associate with dead-end affairs such as this one.