Most of my early torturers were Indians; they bullied me mercilessly for just looking cute as a kid while they'd strut about with the stench of coconut oil and pickles on them. They would pinch my cheeks with their filthy nails, punch me across the floor just because I looked at them and even slap me for turning up in the wrong class.
Those days aren't behind me however, since I've had the misfortune of meeting an aunty from Mumbai and like most bombayites, throws attitude around like she's sprinkling holy water and lets her tongue run faster than her legs can. She uses me the first couple of days to take snaps of her so as to glorify her grotesque features and then ditches me for a more 'sophisticated' tribe of hindi-speaking holy water-sprinklers. She hardly ever talks to me anymore but puts me down, forgetting how pathetically she'd beg for information about the simplest things when she'd just arrived at the new place. The next case study is the guy who lives right next door to me. The funk knows I can't stand his whistling at 2am in the morning, but continues doing so. He sticks his head out into the freezing cold knowing full well that it'll cause him a fit of cough later, but it doesn't bother him either. He stares at me intensely nowadays having lost his tongue (perhaps having mistaken it for bacon) and looks at me like a complete stranger. He prefers typing commands into his precious laptop to going sightseeing in a country as uniquely beautiful as Australia. Another example is that of the creepy 30-something hag who looks at my clothes and accessories way more than she does my face and asks me to repeat whatever I say, instead of plucking the gunk out of her ears which would improve her hearing.
Relatives on facebook have begun worrying themselves sick over my health after having ignored my existence for three years. They think it's their version of the Inquisition and are hell-bent on destroying my peace of mind with a flurry of questions regarding business which is none of their concern whatsoever. It wasn't any different in college. Kids would calculate the worth of my clothes and shoes faster than they'd analyze a sample of DNA, and then judge me accordingly. Never had I felt more repulsed by an entire group of people in my life, than I did at that moment. I've totally given up talking about them and it's as though they never existed and were just part of a horrendous nightmare that lasted for three years. The guy I went out for a short while, could barely digest the news that I'd got an offer at a university abroad, assuming me to be the worthless dickhead with a sinus problem that he was. He never could say anything pleasant from then on, always letting a couple of put-downs slip out of his rotten phlegm-filled mouth. I'm just glad that whole episode ended with one horrid date. Dear Almighty, save me from the Indians who threaten to engulf me in their hurricane of pessimism, narrow-mindedness, pickles and stinky oils.
